Aeryn's Journey - # 13 THANKS FOR SHARING
Jun. 30th, 2009 10:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nymeria_dwAeryn's Journey - Thanks for Sharing
(A Farscape fanfiction)
Author: Nymeria
Disclaimer: the Farscape universe and its characters do not belong to me - I'm just borrowing them for a little while.
Rating: PG
Setting: Season 3 - episode 7
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
Everything's happening all at once. So, what's new? Too many distractions. Too many questions without an answer.
There is so much demanding my attention that sometimes I feel as if walls were closing in on me, vise-like, crushing me, stealing my breath.
Talyn, and Crais, are back: both of them hurt, maybe dying. We have no idea how, or why.
Once more we stand on the edge of danger (no news here, either), hoping the unlikely team of reckless warrior and exiled monarch will find a cure for Talyn. And perhaps the answers we need.
While I'm left to handle the two of them.
Two.
Dealing with Crichton has never been easy, granted.
Dealing with him after all that's happened in the past few monens has been…difficult, true.
But two of them– that's beyond my powers of endurance.
Crichton's eyes always on me, searching, seeking, wanting, were already more than I could bear. Because I also had to cope with the conflicting gravitational forces pulling me toward him and then pushing me away in confusion. In fear.
Now it's all doubled.
They are not making things easier, either, bickering all the time like first-cycle cadets begging for punishment.
"We have bigger problems right now - Talyn is dying!"
It's as if the doubling, or whatever it was, robbed them both of Crichton's best qualities: the focus on real priorities, the drive to find a solution, no matter how big the challenge. The selfless caring for others that used to be such an important part of him.
They look at me as if I possessed the key to their predicament. To solving the riddle.
They had better look elsewhere.
I can't tell them apart. Shirt or no shirt.
*_*
A retrieval squad. With a Pantak-class Vigilante, no less.
And my…mother.
The word leaves such a strange taste in my mouth. Bittersweet and elusive, like the half-remembered dream that's haunted me all my life, and somehow seemed to shape my destiny. It makes you special.
The undeniable reality of that night is here, before my eyes. It was no dream.
I stare in fascination at the scene unfolding on the screen and at my younger self, caught between remembrance and reality, mirroring my own body language as the child Aeryn responds to the adult's – my mother's – words.
We wanted you – and we love you.
Strange words. Dangerous and rebellious words. Implying even then, even so early in my life, that I could be–
More.
What I was, for both of them, for my parents, was a stain on their record, an instrument of disgrace. Or worse.
What I am being asked to be, now, is…unclear.
"She loved you. And if that part of her still lives - only you can find it."
What if I can't? What if there is nothing to find?
And, more important, why now? Why does this…delayed revelation become suddenly so important?
"She's a mindless assassin. As you and I once were. But you can give her a chance to be something more than that."
If I didn't have so much on my mind, I'd find this amusing: the same man who labelled me as "irreversibly contaminated" now wants me to help Senior Officer Xhalax Sun to become *more*.
Offer her a choice.
No.
She's made one already. Leading the retrieval squad. Hurting Talyn to get him back.
*I* am the one who's being asked to make a choice.
Everyone seems to want that out of me.
*_*
Talyn - that's your fathers name - he and I chose to have you.
I picked this name for Moya's offspring because I wanted to flesh out the memory of a dream. My own way of rebelling against rules and regulations.
Now that I know it was real, I feel even more my responsibility toward this creature that bears a ghost's name.
This is my choice, then. The only one open to me.
To guide this young life, see it reach its potential (In the right new place you'll thrive…)
Protect him against anything. Anyone.
"I will not let them get Talyn back." Even if ensuring his future means having to sever whatever ties I have to my past. "Even if it means I have to kill her."
(A Farscape fanfiction)
Author: Nymeria
Disclaimer: the Farscape universe and its characters do not belong to me - I'm just borrowing them for a little while.
Rating: PG
Setting: Season 3 - episode 7
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
Everything's happening all at once. So, what's new? Too many distractions. Too many questions without an answer.
There is so much demanding my attention that sometimes I feel as if walls were closing in on me, vise-like, crushing me, stealing my breath.
Talyn, and Crais, are back: both of them hurt, maybe dying. We have no idea how, or why.
Once more we stand on the edge of danger (no news here, either), hoping the unlikely team of reckless warrior and exiled monarch will find a cure for Talyn. And perhaps the answers we need.
While I'm left to handle the two of them.
Two.
Dealing with Crichton has never been easy, granted.
Dealing with him after all that's happened in the past few monens has been…difficult, true.
But two of them– that's beyond my powers of endurance.
Crichton's eyes always on me, searching, seeking, wanting, were already more than I could bear. Because I also had to cope with the conflicting gravitational forces pulling me toward him and then pushing me away in confusion. In fear.
Now it's all doubled.
They are not making things easier, either, bickering all the time like first-cycle cadets begging for punishment.
"We have bigger problems right now - Talyn is dying!"
It's as if the doubling, or whatever it was, robbed them both of Crichton's best qualities: the focus on real priorities, the drive to find a solution, no matter how big the challenge. The selfless caring for others that used to be such an important part of him.
They look at me as if I possessed the key to their predicament. To solving the riddle.
They had better look elsewhere.
I can't tell them apart. Shirt or no shirt.
*_*
A retrieval squad. With a Pantak-class Vigilante, no less.
And my…mother.
The word leaves such a strange taste in my mouth. Bittersweet and elusive, like the half-remembered dream that's haunted me all my life, and somehow seemed to shape my destiny. It makes you special.
The undeniable reality of that night is here, before my eyes. It was no dream.
I stare in fascination at the scene unfolding on the screen and at my younger self, caught between remembrance and reality, mirroring my own body language as the child Aeryn responds to the adult's – my mother's – words.
We wanted you – and we love you.
Strange words. Dangerous and rebellious words. Implying even then, even so early in my life, that I could be–
More.
What I was, for both of them, for my parents, was a stain on their record, an instrument of disgrace. Or worse.
What I am being asked to be, now, is…unclear.
"She loved you. And if that part of her still lives - only you can find it."
What if I can't? What if there is nothing to find?
And, more important, why now? Why does this…delayed revelation become suddenly so important?
"She's a mindless assassin. As you and I once were. But you can give her a chance to be something more than that."
If I didn't have so much on my mind, I'd find this amusing: the same man who labelled me as "irreversibly contaminated" now wants me to help Senior Officer Xhalax Sun to become *more*.
Offer her a choice.
No.
She's made one already. Leading the retrieval squad. Hurting Talyn to get him back.
*I* am the one who's being asked to make a choice.
Everyone seems to want that out of me.
*_*
Talyn - that's your fathers name - he and I chose to have you.
I picked this name for Moya's offspring because I wanted to flesh out the memory of a dream. My own way of rebelling against rules and regulations.
Now that I know it was real, I feel even more my responsibility toward this creature that bears a ghost's name.
This is my choice, then. The only one open to me.
To guide this young life, see it reach its potential (In the right new place you'll thrive…)
Protect him against anything. Anyone.
"I will not let them get Talyn back." Even if ensuring his future means having to sever whatever ties I have to my past. "Even if it means I have to kill her."
